


First Days

by darthoswald



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Character Death, Childhood Friends, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Tragedy, i need more pondswald content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 18:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14836595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthoswald/pseuds/darthoswald
Summary: there's always first time for everything





	First Days

**Author's Note:**

> DW is not mine. if it was, then clamy would be endgame

 

 

  
**It was the first day of kindergarten when they met each other.**

  
Innocent little children playing on the slide, the sandbox and just running around. Basically kids having the time of their lives. However, Amelia Pond was sitting alone in a swing. Thinking of why did they have to move away from her hometown to a new one. She was happy in Inverness with all of her friends. She had to go away from Katie and Sarah, her best mates to move to "rubbish-Pool" as she named it. She was in deep thoughts, in the verge of crying when a smaller girl approached the swing and sat beside her. The girl faced her and asked, "Why are you alone here instead of having fun?". Amelia thought that ignoring the girl would eventually make her leave but she was wrong."I'm Clara Oswald and you areeee?", Clara asked her with that sweet smile and that smiled made her change some of her thoughts about Blackpool. "I'm Amelia. Amelia Pond."

  
**It was the first day of 5th grade when Clara protected her.**

  
"That boy Isaac is really getting on my nerves." a angry Clara Oswald muttered while closing her locker door. "Nah don't worry about him. He's just a wee lad who's pretending to be strong." Amelia laughed. "No it is not okay!" Clara said sternly, "He has been tormenting you since that science project and I tell you Amelia, I am nowhere okay with it."

The two were casually walking through the hallways of their school when they bumped onto Isaac, well particularly, Amelia was the one who bumped onto him. Isaac grabbed Amelia by her clothes and slightly shouted, "The hell is your problem, Pond? You looking for a fight?" he boastfully challenged Amelia who was just looking at him silently, not doing anything until— "Hey! You wussbag, get away from Amelia!" Amelia heard the voice of her best friend and quickly interjected, "No Clara, please don't get into this mess." Amelia looked at her friend with pleading eyes, practically begging her not to be part of this fight. Her fight.

"You're weak and you just can't accept that Amelia is smarter than you. So if you would just leave because neither of us, Amelia and I, want to cause trouble. Stop being jealous of her and go mind your own business." Clara filterlessly blurted out. Isaac felt ashamed since almost all of their batchmates were looking at him, whispering things so he decided to scuttle away.

  
"Hey, thank you for while ago. I couldn't ask for a better friend than you, Clara." Both girls smiled at each other as they entered their next class hand in hand, ready to face problems

  
**It was their first dance night when Amelia realized it.**

  
She was inlove with her best friend. She didn't know when but she sure did know how. Clara has always been there since day one. Throughout her childhood, Clara was the safe place of her. Whenever Clara's talking to her, she feels comfortable, whenever Clara hugs her, she feels safe, and whenever Clara is there, she feels like she's home.

  
Amelia is good in hiding her feelings. She did it since they moved in here. She pretended to be happy until Clara came and became legit happy. With Clara, she's open like one of those books her best friend like to read.

  
She has no one to talk with these feelings. _"I mean I can't talk about Clara with Clara and certainly these feelings"_. Amelia became paranoid time after time, every moment that she's with Clara was like heaven and torture at the same time. She decided that she will tell her these estranged feelings after graduation but her plan suddenly changed when she saw her walk through those doors of the ballroom.

  
Clara wore a baby blue ball dress with glitters and ruffles at the hem of the clothing. Everyone in the room turned their heads to see the new arrival but in Amelia's eyes, she was an angel. When she saw her best friend, she stood in awe, mouth hunged open and totally star-strucked. Clara scanned the room first to find her best friend and and beamed a smile when she spotted the redhead.

  
"There you are! Amelia you're looking so fine I can hardly believe you're my best friend" Clara then released a heavenly laugh that made Amelia's heart flutter with affection for her best friend. "Thank you for your compliment Clara but have you seen yourself? You're literally the daughter of Aphrodite" Amelia chuckled before she realized what she just said and went quiet afterwards. "Stop being silly Amelia. Let's just stop complimenting each other and hit the dance floor. Shall we?" Clara said with her eyes sparkling and Amelia replied "Yes of course, you're my date for tonight right?". _"Oh I am so inlove with you, Clara Oswald."_

  
**It was their first road trip together when they kissed.**

  
The two were having their first on-the-road go right after their graduation. They decided to go to London that summer since Amelia said that she'd be leaving for university in one week or so. Clara suggested that she want them to go to London before she goes. With Clara doing that puppy-dog eyes at her and the chance of having alone time with the girl she loved so dearly, Amelia said yes in an instant.

  
They had their bags and budget packed for their trip and left at early dawn. Throughout the whole trip, the radio would bust out some showtunes and their songs. The girls rocked their hearts out when _Cindy Lauper's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_ and _Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody_ came but it got a bit silent when _Queen's Best Friend_ played. No one decided to talk and just hummed until Clara, who was on the passenger seat, broke the deafening silence with a "You know Amelia, I'm gonna miss you so much more than you think. Without you," short pause, "I feel like things around me will feel different. Who will be there when I get my first job? Who will I treat with my first salary? Who'll be my best mate now?". Clara sad smiled at her while she said those things and Amelia, on the other hand, just kept quiet until the song was done but the song didn't finished without Amelia stealing glances at the passenger seat.

  
When they arrived at South Bank, where Amelia's cousin resides, they decided to take a rest/nap before they explore London and spend their remaining time together. The guestroom only have one bed and Clara insisted that they should _sleep_ together in that bed. However, Amelia just decided to take a nap on the sofa and reasoned that it would be more comfortable for Clara if the bed was not "crowded" but Clara ignored that and back-hugged Amelia and said "Stay please. I don't want you sleeping on that couch. You can barely fit in there" the smaller girl joked. Little did she know, Amelia was so close to crying.

 

Amelia was planning on confessing to Clara at a fancy place like the London Eye or some French restaurant but this moment her feeling couldn't stop her anymore.

 

"Hey, Clara can we sit here?" she pointed the bed and Clara gladly obeyed but was slightly worried. "I don't know how I'm supposed to say this but I guess I will start this with saying that I thank you for everything you have ever done for me. You were my first friend and my best friend after all my childhood and teenage years. All those years past and you never left me, you just stood by my side no matter the consequences were. I'm so lucky to have you" Amelia said while softly caressing Clara's face. "Amelia, what are yo—" "Let me finish this first okay." Amelia chuckled and continued "I don't know when but one day I feel this... feeling. Probably it was when you started getting close with Danny Pink back in junior year and I was starting to get jealous. I thought that I was only jealous of him because he's taking my best friend from me but it became clear to me when that guy from social studies tried to hit on you. You remembered him right?" she chuckled a little, "Anyway, every guy you got close with messed with my head for days until you confirm that you're not interested in any of them. It made me feel lighter, I guess."

  
Amelia looked at the bedroom floor and said "But during that ball where you looked liked an angel who was actually Cinderella. It made me realized what I'm feeling for you all those times. Every time we spent time together, I was happy and contented with life. Seeing you makes my day hundred times better. Bloody hell, even hearing your name alone makes me smile.". Clara don't know how what to feel. _"Is my bestfriend inlove with me?"_

  
"I guess it's too cliché if I said those three words but since I'm already leaving _you_ , I might just regret not telling you this." Amelia looked again at Clara. _Those eyes will always haunt me._ "I love you with all my bloody heart Clara Oswald. I am so inlove with you and I don't know if I can survive college life without you. Hell I don't know if I can last a day without hearing anything from you" Amelia's voice was already cracking and Clara was on the verge of crying.

  
They seated in silence for a few moments until Clara, with all doubts removed, proceeded to cup Amelia's cheeks and looked at those eyes that can hypnotize a god before pressing her lips to the redhead's.

  
Amelia seated straight and simply cannot what's happening. Her best friend, the person she loved outside of the family, the person she desired for the longest time, the one she hopes to be the love of her life was kissing her. Amelia sunk that in and went to kiss back Clara as gentle as could. She poured all of her feelings, _all those hidden feelings_ , she kept from Clara. Now, she was actually doing the only thing she only dreamed of.

 

**It was the first day of Amelia's last summer break before graduating college when they decided on _that_ thing**

 

The couple, who has been together for four years, was bonding on one of the poppy fields that Clara's family owned. They were having a picnic because of Amelia going back to her home before finishing college the next semesters. Clara has been thinking of _this_ since Amelia's second year. Clara thought that this is her only chance of telling her girl this because she know that Amelia would be super busy with the last year she planned all of this.

 

"Love," _damn that sounds good,_ "I was thinking of us. Our future together." With this, Amelia sat straight from laying on Clara's lap and listened attentively. "I have been saving money for... a house? Or apartment maybe?". Amelia gasped and hugged Clara so tight. When she released the brunette, Clara continued to say her plans to Amelia, "I mean since you're planning on teaching college kids with philosophy and my current job is a teacher, we could teach together perhaps?" Both of them laughed and Amelia replied, "I am teaching college kids while you're gonna teach kindergarten? Sounds okay to me." 

 

With that, they kissed each other under the orange glaze of the sun while they talked about their future together. In a small apartment with a Pomeranian? Or probably in the suburbs with a mini-Clara?

 

**It was the day when Amy decided to make her move**  

 

After moving to a small apartment in Manchester, both has been working in different places. Despite the distances and schedule conflict, the couple still managed to connect with each other and keep a healthy relationship. With the time they spent in their new neighborhood, they had made other friends. Amelia, who just sticked to Clara in her high school days, became more friendly to her co-workers in the university. Both of them were proud of their relationship. One of Amelia's co-workers, Rose, asked her a question one day. _"When are you going to propose to your girlfriend? You guys have been together a long time and still, you're no knotted yet? If I were you Pond, I'll marry her the moment I arrive at home."_

 

Amelia cannot stop thinking about that and she decided that after payday, she's gonna buy a ring. A simple but elegant ring, just like her queen. Then the moment she sees her girl enter their home, she's gonna do a speech and pop the question afterwards. 

 

Days went fast and eventually, Amelia got her monthly pay and she was so excited to get that citrine ring she reserved in a jewelry store in a nearby mall. Amelia went directly to the store, paid the ring, and went straight to home where she prepares everything. 

 

It was still early but it was raining heavily and Clara already texted her that she was stucked in the traffic and this is making Amelia so nervous, she started pacing out. Walking around the room until she felt tired and sat on the couch. She only sat for five minutes but then, she fell asleep while she didn't know what's happening around her. 

 

* * *

 

 

Amelia was awoken by the sound of her phone ringing. She was still dizzy since she just woke up but she became conscious when she saw Clara's picture calling and that made her realize, _Clara's not here yet._ She immediately answered the phone, "Hello? Clara, baby where are you?".  _Please be Clara,_ "Hello? Is this Miss Pond? Are you a friend of Miss Oswald?". Instead of hearing Clara's sweet voice, she heard an unfamiliar voice with ambulance sirens and that moment, Amelia didn't want to know what happened or rather,she already knew what happened.

 

**It was Clara's first day in the hospital**

 

They were supposed to be in bed right now. Cuddling, being in each others arms and sleeping peacefully because they knew that they were going to be married soon. _They were supposed to be happy._

 

Amelia never got any sleep that day. Thinking that the woman she loved was in pain, barely living, was torturing her. Both of their parents came within the day and comforted a non-stop crying Amelia. She kept saying sorry to Clara's parents but they ignored it, they new that little Amelia deeply loved their daughter so much. All of them waited for Clara to be stable and moved into a room. When it was announced that she was already in a room, they let Amelia visit her first.

 

The moment Amelia went inside was also the moment her heart broke into two. Tear-stricken face still managed to form a smile the moment Amelia held Clara's hand. _Softest hand._ "Hello there angel, you only said that you were caught in a traffic. You only said that you'll just be late for dinner. You only said you overtimed." then the floodgates were opened once again, "We were supposed to be in bed, cuddling or probably making out, talking about the guest list for our wedding or your bridesmaids" Amelia chuckled empty. "Wake up please, Clara? I need you. I need you so bad." Amelia leaned down to kiss Clara's hand then her forehead. "I love you. Please wake up as soon as you can." 

 

* * *

 

 

"Doctor Smith please proceed to room 701. Again, Doctor Smith, proceed to room 701". The speakers boomed as some of Clara started having a seizure inside room 701. The doctor, together with the nurses, was started speaking about some apparatus and failing organs. Clara's parents were asked to stay outside but they can clearly see the agony of their daughter. The doctor were doing the best he can to keep this patient alive. His hope returned when the girl calmed for a moment. Everything was quiet except for the cardiac monitor which kept beeping. The doctor and the nurses sigh a relief but seconds after, the heart rate of the patient went flat. "No, no, no, no!!!"

 

The doctor cannot do anything now. "What time is it?", he nonchalantly asked. "It's 5:20, doc"

 

They all went outside the room and talked to the family of the girl they tried to save. Both the Oswalds started breaking down.

 

**It was the first day of Clara's funeral**

 

Amelia got the news when she was with her parents in their apartment. Clara's mom phoned her but her dad was the one who answered it instead. Amelia already knew the answer just by looking at her father's reaction.

Since that day, Amelia was barely responsive and barely eating. She never want to go to Clara's funeral. All she did was stay at their **—** her apartment and cry for hours. All her colleagues were checking on her everyday, especially Rose and Martha, but she never even answers their calls. She was just sulking and being miserable for nest days.

 

* * *

 

 

Clara's interment was finished when Amelia arrived. She was watching from a distance as they lower Clara's casket. _Clara's casket._ That day she didn't cry when everyone else were crying.

 

She didn't cry because she was tired of crying. 

 

Before her burial, Amelia cries herself to sleep thinking what could've happened if Clara didn't ride that bus or the driver of the truck wasn't drunk. Amelia would dream that she wakes up facing Clara's adorable face but the reality will pull her back to the truth that she will never experience waking up and seeing her girlfriend's face.

 

**The first day of Amelia goes back to work, eats regularly, and functions properly was also the day of their anniversary**  

 

After some months, Amelia finally accepted the fact that the love of her life was gone. Although it still hurts, she thought what would Clara say to her if she was acting like that. Clara would scold her big time if she'd see Amelia slacking off. So after Amelia made the realization, she went and rebuilt herself in a way that she know Clara would be proud of. She went back to being a professor, she made some new dishes and baked too. She focused herself on work but didn't stress it too much. 

 

One night while she was at home, together with her dog who was named Dally, Clara's pre-school admin called her to pick up the materials and belongings of Clara which was left in the faculty room. This made her hesitant at first but she thought that another memory of Clara could cheer her up at some times.

 

The following morning, Amelia was given a blue box with Clara's name on the top of it. She decided that she will check this once she's home. She bid her farewell to Clara's boss and went on her way home.

 

She opened the box and she saw a lot of papers with children's drawings and colours. This made her smile since she knew Clara likes to share the works of the children. The pile of the papers was removed and at the bottom, there is something like and envelope. Amelia picked it up and opened it. Turns out she was right.

 

_My dearest Amelia,_

 

_If you are reading this, this is probably our wedding night or just another anniversary or we broke up (kidding, I know you can't because I know to myself that I also can't). I'm sorry if I wrote it too early cause you know that, even if I am a pre-school teacher, I'm busy at work so I probably won't have time writing this (you will bugger me if I wrote it at home). Anyway, I just want to tell you that I have treasured our friendship and relationship with my life. You have been part of my life. The best part of it perhaps. I will never forget that redhead sitting alone on the swing while other kids ran their arses off and that day was golden because that was the day I have met my soulmate. I love you with all my being Amelia Pond. I say it to you every time because life is short and I want to cherish it by being with you, loving you. I love everything about you. The way your nose scrunches whenever you're laughing, your long, endless limbs which carry me, your fiery red hair which I tangle my fingers with and that Scottish accent that makes me weak every time. Words will never be enough to express my love for you. Thank you for being there for me as a best friend and as a lover. Thank you for being there as my support in every time and every where. Thank you for staying with me that day when we went to London. Thank you for being alive cause I don't know where I will be if I'm not with you. You will always be my best friend, my girlfriend (or wife), my soulmate, my gift from the heavens, My Amelia._

 

_Ps. I want our daughter named Amy or if it's a boy, then you decide._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> sooooo there ya go folks!!! i do hope you enjoy this angst that i have given you (im so so sorry). comments&kudos would be appreciated with all my heart. i love you all.


End file.
